Clean Teeth

Noah's first dental examine. The receptionist at our dentist, Lorie, who I love and happens to be Italian suggested that I take Noah to one of my visits so she could see me get my teeth cleaned and checked before she had her first visit. It was a brilliant idea. We talked about my visit on the drive over, and I told her what they were going to do in terms like, "tickle my teeth to get them clean." She was so excited and anxious that when I was done she asked if it was her turn and was disappointed when I told her she had to wait until we came back. She asked several times before we went back and was such a champ on her big day. She help her mouth open oh so wide, as you can see, and watched Dora on the TV. I was very proud of her and her beautiful smile. I'm in disbelief about how fast she is growing and I love that she brushed her own teeth. She has a variety of toothbrushes depending on her mood and always finished up her brush with a big cup of water from the sink - which sometime leads to a 3 am potty or a 3:30am bath and pee pee sheets. She comes in after she brushes her teeth and shows me how clean they are and lets me smell her breath. Isaiah also has a few pulsating tooth brushes and once he gets one of them into his hands he carries it around the house brushing his teeth until you sure the batteries are going to run out. And then he wails when you take it away.

Little people

I try to look at my kids and see them the way the world sees them. I try to see if I can be unbiased. I can't because I think they're so special. I know Noah doesn't listen and Isaiah always sneezes a river of snot but I think they are perfect for us. I love when they're in bed and there's peace in my house and in my mind. I sit and look at pictures of them, even if those pictures are from earlier in the day. Are they that beautiful or is it just me?

Round two and lollipops are like, almost fruit

This is from a few months ago, on our way back from Martha's Vineyard. I'm so proud and fulfilled to be creating new traditions with my family.

My dreamer, my honey bee

Snaggle-tooth. Noah knows his nicknames, if I've called him something once, she remembers. He's my honey bee, my stinky butt, he's my where's that little butt butt? He's almost a year and a half and on that day he'll be closer to two and closer to getting older and older. I worry about my children - I worry about everything on this earth coming to do them physical harm - but I know spiritually they're going to be better than okay. I know they are strong and can deal with the mystery of life. I know they know how to love, and speak up for what they need. I think they might be raising me instead of the other way around. Noah and Isaiah have taught me to deal with being who I am. When I just had Noah I could get through almost anything because I could handle it all (barely.) I was good in crisis and loved to organize my way out of everything. I had it under control even though I was ripping at my seams. But when I had Isaiah I didn't have the time or the energy to deal with bullshit. I would have hurt myself if I kept living in perfection with two children. With one baby I could fool myself into thinking I wasn't headed to insanity, but two babies force you to see yourself and your created life. Parenting two children is the halogen lighting in a bright white public restroom. And by bullshit, I mean the stinky part of life, the shit - the part that doesn't add any memories to your life, or wisdom (unless you note improving on how to multi-task,) those moments wasted on putting life in order - getting rid of the ants, buying salt for the water purifier, comparing airline ticket prices and times online after several consultations with almost everyone remotely involved. I want more of the random 10:39s in the morning when Isaiah wakes up from his morning nap and nuzzles with me and we read "Bark George" which he pushes away for his mini-ABC books, or "My Truck is Stuck," or the night-time animal sound book which is being torn to sheds because he can't let it alone. I prefer those moments than sorting and rinsing the recycle. Employing Delmy to help us manage our very full life is the best money I've ever spent. Her expense gives me time to BE with my babies - watch them play dress up. Watch Isaiah walk around in one of Noah's princess shoes and growl like a dinosaur. Isaiah makes me laugh so often. He is teaching me to laugh and let the bullshit go so i can BE in the real part of life - the part where people just BE with each other. He's got the funniest hairstyle. He's got blond curls on the back and long, flat bangs that cover his head like a comb over. He's also got the biggest two front teeth on a toddler. He laughs, sneezes, or cries ALL the time. I watch his face scrunch up into one of these emotions every other minute. He's so allergic to everything, he feels everything that happens around him, he's sensitive in a special sense way. All my children will be sensitive in the respect that they hurt easier BUT that doesn't make them, or me, weak. But Isaiah is aware, he doesn't sleep easy, animals make him so happy, water makes him happy. He is easy to please. Isaiah gets a kick out of everything. He will high five or kiss anyone who recognizes him. He's so very sweet. Noah is clever and curious and guarded with who she shows attention, and Isaiah just enjoys everything until he's exhausted or famished and then you feed him or put him to bed and this simple life makes Isaiah so very happy - and that is a gift, a gift from God to him, and the other way around too. Isaiah appreciates simplicity and it all actually tickles him. He's wonderful.

Knowing Noah

How could it already be October? How could I already be turing 34 - where are the days going? So many days already. Noah is 3 and half...a half, keep thinking that we just moved into the house and we've just gone to her birthday in Roxbury Park. I think I'm still pregnant with Isaiah - like none of the last 2 years have actually happened. I see little mannerisms in Noah that aren't from me and I wonder where she learned it, where she saw it first. I worry that it's happening so fast that I don't have the time to be the type of parent I wanted to be - I feel, just wait, hold on...baby you're growing so fast.. let me just hold on it before you're not my baby anymore. And when I think like this - when I think about how fast these moments are fleeting I know that I have to have another baby, this can't be the last time I see my child at this age. And even though Noah tries me more than anything in life has or will, makes me question who I am in every moment, and even though it's so hard, I'll always be chasing the first high of my first baby, Noah. I had Isaiah for two reasons - one that I loved Noah so intensely that I wanted to give her another person who would adore her in another way. And he does, Isaiah gets who Noah is more than any of us. Two - that I love Noah so much at every age that I will do anything to know it again.

"Mommy you have to sleep with me every night."

My Nana rocks!

And some other things that Isaiah loves at 14 months, 4 teeth, 5 words (Mama, Bubble, Dog, Boy & Dada) and one tiger growl which he uses for all animals:

Spray bottles
Eating chalk (red flavor)
Music (he dances)
Toast, toast and more toast
his hair combed
the vacuum
the dogs
the vibrating shrek toothbrush
books, touch and feel books
Noah

I've never see so much poop

We went to the circus today and I'm exhausted. I feel like Genesh (that multi-limbed Hindu god.) Not because I have any super divinity but because I feel like I have 4 arms. Sitting between Noah and Isaiah and keeping them off the floor and food in their mouth and drinks in their cups and all the other gazillion things that can happen