Vaccines & Daddy Luv

Today the kids went to their 3 and 5 year pediatric appointments. I told Noah a little before lunch and she was excited. She then got Isaiah excited and I could NOT control them during their visit. Noah wanted to touch and try everything and Isaiah was excited to jump up and down on the examination table and look at himself in the mirror. Now, Noah has been vaccinated, well..sort of. She has had a total of three shots her entire life. She is way behind for what is recommended for kindergarten. It's something where I am completely on the fence. Well, maybe not completely. I lean much more towards not vaccinating at all - which has been my policy until recently. Isaiah is now 3 and I feel he is out of the danger zone. He can talk to me about what he's feeling and I'm more confident that he will not have a reaction. I pray I am right. Well they both had to get a shot today and I expected it to be awful and thought I might shed a few tears too. Noah broke down completely and cried for some time after. Isaiah on the other hand didn't seemed phased and was more concerned with his bandaid. Noah sat in the back seat of the car with a tear stained face and seemed so unhappy. So we decided to call daddy and let him know about her heartache and when he said hello to her - her face lit up. She was soon giggling and forgot all about her two shots.

Big kids now!

How and when did they turn three and five?! It's an amazing time where I can take them on an airplane and not have a nervous breakdown. We flew a few weeks ago and are now getting ready to fly again. Thankfully we have 2 DVDs players and they're old enough where they will sit and watch movies the whole flight. On the last flight Isaiah sat with me and he's usually more difficult, but as the plane took off Isaiah started getting a fever. I asked the woman behind me if she had any Motrin or Advil and she did. And then he passed out and I read, and napped, and watched The Last Station and then cried. Noah sat with Broderick and flew asleep on cue as the plane landed. Right now the kids are about to take a walk with their babies. Ms. Martha is taking them out. They are fighting over the stroller and the more stuff (pillows and blankets) that Noah gets, the more stuff Isaiah will simply die without. Isaiah has been saying "I don't want____" about every five minutes. He also announces whenever he smells something, anything. Noah is practically a teenager and mostly wants to play learning games on the computer and play with her hair.

How to Train Your Dragon

On Sunday we got up and made breakfast. No matter what I'm cooking Noah asks to help, and if Noah asks to help then it follows that Isaiah will ask. Sometimes they don't even ask. Noah grabs the stool of of the bathroom which is smaller and easy to handle. Since Isaiah follows Noah's lead he gets stuck with the bigger stool by the front door. It takes all his strength to move the two step stool into the kitchen. Most times I'm so worried he's going to trip or drop it on his fat, little square foot that I carry it the rest of the way. They both have to wash their hands which they do with only one asking, because they love cooking. They put on their aprons and if I'm not wearing mine, Noah bugs me until I put it on. Isaiah usually gets a bowl with a whisk and some flour or rice in it to mix and he will mix until you drag him from it. This Sunday we were making a breakfast pie. I've discovered the delicious beauty of pie crust and make a lot of vegetable pie. Since we are decorating hollowed out eggs on Wednesday night I had to carefully break the top part of the egg off and slowly let it drizzle out. Noah whisked the eggs and broke up a piece of sliced cheese into bits. She washed the asparagus and hung out with me until the pie was ready to go in the oven. Broderick claimed it was his favorite of my breakfast pies. It contained eggs, cheese (of course,) garlic (of course, of course,) greens and onions, of and halved cherry tomatoes around the edges for even more color. And he was right, it was delicious. After I out the pie int he oven I hustled to get the kids dressed for Alastair's birthday party. While I was int he shower Isaiah and Noah started wrestling, which was sweet and loving BUT, he started wheezing which meant he had to sit with his "breathing machine" which made us 30 minutes late for the party. We were already 30 minutes late because I can't manage time and always HAVE to do something at the last minute. The kids had a blast at the party and ate vegan cupcakes, jumped on the bouncy, snuck and ate cookies, and played with their friends. it was incredibly hot and Isaiah's little cheeks with flush and he took his shoes and socks off because "I'm hot!" We stayed an hour longer than the evite suggested and stopped at The Farmer's Market on the way home to pick up some produce. This farmer's market is one of the best things to happen to our neighborhood. I'm thrilled there is fresh organic produce every Sunday a stone's throw from my front door. Isaiah fell asleep in the 2 minutes it took to get home and Noah had to be threatened before she finally conceded to sleep which just made he sleep later than I wanted. When they woke up we had a quick dinner of my dad's frozen beef stew. Noah decorated the bags for the home made popcorn which Broderick didn't eat. Isaiah just walked into my bedroom at 10pm and said looked worried because, "I can't find Noah." She was asleep at the end of her bed tucked in pink heart pillows and a soft pink blanket from grandma Pam. I have to convert Isaiah's crib into a toddler bed. I HAVE TO DO IT!! Anyway Broderick and I took the kids to see "How to Train Your Dragon." If anyone has ever wondered who all that outdoor advertising is for - it's for my kids. They know all the movies. Not because they watch TV (which they hardly do,) but because they are suckers for a billboard. Anyway they were as cute as two children could be. We all help hands as we walked in and it make me so happy to be a part of our family. I'm happy a lot, but I was also proud. Everyone was happy and excited and just so darn cute. They both talked throughout the entire movie - but I didn't mind because I know they cant help it, they're my kids and we love to talk and too because they were so excited to share what they were seeing and thinking. Noah thanked her daddy a bunch and just kept saying "Whoever made that movie is an awesome movie maker." She was very proud to have come up with this on her own. We'll see if she remembers that they are called "producers." While they were getting ready for bed, they each took a phone and put it on speaker and recounted every detail and most of the lines from the movie to my mom, John and Jessica. It was one of those moments I hope to etch in my mind and heart forever. It was a perfect time with them.

Depressing

It's depressing how fast time is zooming by me, and I guess the rest of us too. It's picking up speed each day I add to my life. it seems as if the distance between minutes, hours, weeks and the rest of it are closing in. It's depressing to me that I feel like I just got settled from Christmas and it's Easter, about to be summer. Everything I do is an effort to be more in the moment. All the scheduling, the managing of Ms. Martha's time and energy, the persistent pleas for family to visit is all about cherishing these precious times. I can't tell if I'm living in fear or in consciousness. I can't tell if the awareness that we are all dangling on strings and it's all just a blink is either good for me or detrimental to my peace of mind. This awareness forces me to let go of the petty small stuff and remember some book of rules for life that had two rules; #1. Don't sweat the small stuff. #2 It's all small stuff. So on one hand it's good, but on the other hand I'm sick with worry that I'm not being in the moment enough. I do feel distracted less since this crisis of faith or rather, that the inevitable just dawned on me. It inspired me to see Yellowstone, well that and something the yoga teacher, Clio said. She explained how time seems to be speeding up as we age and that some scientists have researched this and discovered our perception of time is really just the brain's way of recording new information. So when we are encountering something for the first time, the brain slows down to record all the shiny, new details - but by 35 or 40, we are in auto-pilot and our brains have seen everything we do everyday - there's no new information to record. So I thought then, that I need to go someplace new. And I thought about how the kids need space to run around and fresh air, and how I'd love to have a picnic every day on this vacation and just sit in beauty and talk to my family am watch the kids look at beauty. I'm trying to slow down time. I'm trying to go to bed earlier so I'm not a zombie. I'm trying to record these experiences with pictures and this blog is to document the regular stuff we do everyday, because I know someday soon that this moment too will be ancient history. I love life, and I love this life so much - it's just depressing it's going so fast. I am thankful for every moment and pray (more like beg God, for long lives for everyone I love - which is about everyone and that we are healthy and happy and in peace.


This picture was taken yesterday when Broderick caved in and took the family to a nursery and we bought trees for our back yard. Isaiah is a funny critter and Noah is clever and strong.

Snow Day

Snow in Los Angeles, who whatta thunk it? So we the ladies of the square decided to get together and do something a little fun for the kids, having no idea how fancy and expensive it would turn out. It was a hard fought battle through a jungle of opinions and :i would've-s," but we worked through it and almost everybody is talking to each other again. What's so shameful is that it was one of those days when you realize how good you have it. The sun was shining, the hot coco was perfect, most of the the kids I know were laughing riding down sleds with each others. The dads were helping all the kids as if every single one of them was their own. We brought a few changes of clothes, because us LA folk don't have snow suits on tap. It was an amazing day and although I cringe at the thought of having to plan and offend again, I know it will be worth it once again.

Noah and her star, nana

So I always had a feeling that these Disney movies were damaging our kids. The 16 year old brides, the waist lines the radius of a cheerio and the prince charming saving them. But it's nearly impossible to keep them away from that stuff. It means no trips to the movies, it means no Friday nights with pizza and some quiet time, it means less time with other kids, it means fights with the grandparents who have been waiting to share the insanity of Disney and its products since they were born. So tonight as I was ricking Noah she got very upset and told me she sees pictures in the air. "And not just the giraffe and rhino mommy." Those are the two pictures above the rocking chair. After much assurance she told me she's afraid a witch is going to hurt nana and turn her into a star just like the bug from Princess and the Frog. She doesn't want nana to die while she's just a little kid. Through tears and insecurity about what is the best thing to do and say in that moment i try to explain to her that she is in charge of the pictures she sees. But she wasn't convinced. She said the pictures aren't ever going to go away until she, herself, becomes a star. And although it broke my heart, she's probably right.

A perfect day in a pretty amazing life

When I'm not moody, or hungry, or jealous I remember how lucky I am. Most of the time I am peaceful and thankful and happy to be exactly where I am. Other days like now, I am tired and feel like my head is going to explode if the kids don't lower their voices. Today was one of those days when they yelled way too much, listened way to little and fought so much my heart has a crack in it now. There are times when I have come to the bottom of my bag of tricks. All the nice ways of saying, Stop what you are doing before I'm tempted to beat you up" are exhausted. It's times like this when I say something through a smile and it makes Noah cry because she knows how angry I am and how mad I am at her. Today was one of those days. I am happy to put them to bed, a little resentful that Broderick is in Miamii partying with women half his age and I;m here in my pjs at the end of my rope. But this picture is from a totally different kind of day. This day I would've trader Broderick for George Clooney or my kids for a Starbucks. This day I was the mother or all mothers. Happy, patient, well dressed and anxious to spend every last second of the day with them. I am lucky and have done a lot of work to make sure I have more of these kinds of days than the days lie today. It's why I have a nanny. It's why I know it's important to write and have a life of my own. But this Sunday at the beach was a delight. I woke up late, too late for church and I only had to ask Broderick once if he wanted to go to Shutters for breakfast and then let the kids run on the beach. Not only did he agree, he agreed whole-heartedly. He didn't do it out of guilt, but because he really wanted to spend time with us. Breakfast was tasty and healthy and the kids didn't break anything, throw anything ot offend anyone. We sat on the beach and I read two articles while they ran in the sand and breathed the fresh air that only the ocean can purify. Broderick fell asleep and I walked the kids to the pier while they chased birds, collected shells and begged me to go to the carnival (which I promised for the next time Nana comes to visit.) We walked back wet, sandy and ready for a nap. They both feel asleep on the way home.... what could be more perfect than that?

When Georgetown came to Cali

This was taken months ago when the Hoyas came to play in some UCLA tournament. The kids jumped on the bed in the hotel room and ate fruit roll ups and bad pizza. It's always a joy to see the Thompson kids with Noah and Isaiah. They are a good influence and the closest thing they have to cousins. Isaiah has asked a few times to go to John John's house. Not realizing it's all the way in DC. The other day I called to speak to Monica and John told me to tell Noah and Isaiah that he loved and missed them. See, I told you, soo sweet.

This hair thang

When I was pregnant with Isaiah I thought I wanted a girl. I say "thought" because of course I was wrong. I got exactly what I wanted - the best boy ever. But I "thought" i wanted a boy for various reasons. For one because I always hoped to have three and I wanted it just like I grew up, two girls first and then a boy. I also thought I'd have a better chance of convincing Broderick of adopting if we had two girls. I've assumed if we adopted it would be a boy. AND I had a girl and wanted exactly what I had and loved. So one day right after I had had Isaiah I was walking into the house and ran into my neighbors cousin and she asked what i had had. She knew, or I told her that I wanted another girl. She looked at me like I was crazy and said, "No, two heads of hair to do? It's much better this way." How right she was. Noah's hair is one of the most gorgeous things about it. Since she was a baby, it's what everyone notices. It's wild, a different and beautiful. BUT!! But, it takes at least 20 minutes every day to brush. As I am writing this she is whining behind me, begging me to straighten her hair. Now, i am not some crazy white mom who has put it into her head that straight hair is better. What has happened is a mixture of influences. I use a flat iron to get the frizz out. Most of the girls at her school have long straight hair. Now, I have at least 8 books that talk about the beauty of ethnic hair. I have African books about hair, I have vintage books about hair. I have clever funny books about hair and all of them emphasize how important it is to love your hair. I tell her all the time I love her curls and how beautiful hair takes work. I have had her dad tell her the same thing in his way. But, honestly, I tired of dealing with it. About 2 years ago I came very close to cutting it short, but a friend stepped in and begged me not to. I'm afraid Noah is going to look back at all the pictures of her as a child and notice a fuzzy halo surrounding her head. But I've seen the light. After this same friend suggested getting her hair straightened for special events of holidays, I felt the pressure ease. I needed a black woman to give me permission to "do something" to her hair. I have since done the following. I've taken her to JC Penny and had it straightened. And I had braids put in it. Both for the low. low cost of about $60. The braids lasted two weeks and were cute, and fun and so, so easy. The straight hair last for a little under a week and Noah bawled when it came time to wash it. It's an interesting thing this hair thing.