Thursday, September 8, 2011

As for Isaiah


Wouldn't it be nice to sit here even just a few nights a week, maybe even with a glass of wine and capture some of the random moments of the day. It might help my memory and I always find it satisfying to write down a little bit about these fleeting moments. I swear I'll remember a look or a way they pronounced something, but I don't because their are so many beautiful and frustrating things happening everyday. I won a bike helmet today - funny and random, right and not really about Isaiah but there's not enough time to keep my own journal so I will tuck little things I think and feel into their journal - because for now it's all about them. And I'm not doing all this stuff for them, not really. All the things I do are for me because I feel it's best for them - what they really want is to watch TV all day and drink fake juice from juice boxes and eat chips. But I'm a mommy and can't let that happen - so I drag them to the beach and on walks and make them sit down and force them to listen to me read them a story when all they really want is to jump around and yell and scream and push each other or hug on Micah. SO what did Isaiah do today - so much. Well today was his first day in the Peaceknicks, he's no longer a squirrel. He's officially a big boy. I had to think today of the peacenicks nap and they do, in fact he'll nap in Kindergarten too with Fanahi who is going to favor the hell out of him and I don't mind one bit. He will have a better self esteem because he is loved by her, and that will make him a better person and a kinder man. One of my jobs is to make sure they have access to the people that love them for that very reason. My kids and all kids actually, need to see the joy on people's faces when they walk in the room and I can say my kids have that. They have people who care about what they have to say. These days Isaiah is into Lightening McQueen and it's not because he loved Cars 2, he didn't. In fact, he feel asleep and so did I. I'm guessing one or a few of the kids at Happyland at into Cars 2 and he got sucked in with them - it's cute how he makes this racing sound and wants ot tell us over and over again about how fast he is and how he's the fastest and how whenever he sees a brightly painted car he assumes it's a race car even if it's Mini Cooper. He talks loudly and often - and I have guilt from wanting to tell him to hush for a bit so I can hear a song or just zone out because soon enough I'll be pulling the words out of him which is what I already feel happening with Noah who has always seemed older than she is. Always. The last few days Isaiah will tell me he has a surprise for me just when he can sense that I'm at my witts end with the tow of them and he comes to me and kisses me on my lips and it works - it softens me every time. Noah is learning to apologize when she had made me mad and when I ask her today why she was apologizing she said, "Because I don't want to be in trouble." Which was good enough for me.

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