When I'm not moody, or hungry, or jealous I remember how lucky I am. Most of the time I am peaceful and thankful and happy to be exactly where I am. Other days like now, I am tired and feel like my head is going to explode if the kids don't lower their voices. Today was one of those days when they yelled way too much, listened way to little and fought so much my heart has a crack in it now. There are times when I have come to the bottom of my bag of tricks. All the nice ways of saying, Stop what you are doing before I'm tempted to beat you up" are exhausted. It's times like this when I say something through a smile and it makes Noah cry because she knows how angry I am and how mad I am at her. Today was one of those days. I am happy to put them to bed, a little resentful that Broderick is in Miamii partying with women half his age and I;m here in my pjs at the end of my rope. But this picture is from a totally different kind of day. This day I would've trader Broderick for George Clooney or my kids for a Starbucks. This day I was the mother or all mothers. Happy, patient, well dressed and anxious to spend every last second of the day with them. I am lucky and have done a lot of work to make sure I have more of these kinds of days than the days lie today. It's why I have a nanny. It's why I know it's important to write and have a life of my own. But this Sunday at the beach was a delight. I woke up late, too late for church and I only had to ask Broderick once if he wanted to go to Shutters for breakfast and then let the kids run on the beach. Not only did he agree, he agreed whole-heartedly. He didn't do it out of guilt, but because he really wanted to spend time with us. Breakfast was tasty and healthy and the kids didn't break anything, throw anything ot offend anyone. We sat on the beach and I read two articles while they ran in the sand and breathed the fresh air that only the ocean can purify. Broderick fell asleep and I walked the kids to the pier while they chased birds, collected shells and begged me to go to the carnival (which I promised for the next time Nana comes to visit.) We walked back wet, sandy and ready for a nap. They both feel asleep on the way home.... what could be more perfect than that?
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