How could it already be October? How could I already be turing 34 - where are the days going? So many days already. Noah is 3 and half...a half, keep thinking that we just moved into the house and we've just gone to her birthday in Roxbury Park. I think I'm still pregnant with Isaiah - like none of the last 2 years have actually happened. I see little mannerisms in Noah that aren't from me and I wonder where she learned it, where she saw it first. I worry that it's happening so fast that I don't have the time to be the type of parent I wanted to be - I feel, just wait, hold on...baby you're growing so fast.. let me just hold on it before you're not my baby anymore. And when I think like this - when I think about how fast these moments are fleeting I know that I have to have another baby, this can't be the last time I see my child at this age. And even though Noah tries me more than anything in life has or will, makes me question who I am in every moment, and even though it's so hard, I'll always be chasing the first high of my first baby, Noah. I had Isaiah for two reasons - one that I loved Noah so intensely that I wanted to give her another person who would adore her in another way. And he does, Isaiah gets who Noah is more than any of us. Two - that I love Noah so much at every age that I will do anything to know it again.
"Mommy you have to sleep with me every night."
No comments:
Post a Comment